Wilmington Pizza Insulting the stretch of pavement and stripmalls you call home

20Feb/123

Cici’s Pizza

I've got the fear


I wish I could say that I didn't know what I was getting into when I decided to go to Cici's, but I did. I knew full damn well what I was getting into. I'd been here years ago, a little while after they opened. Their pizza was as offensive as it was inoffensive. At the time I figured they just bought frozen pizza from the grocery store next door, threw it in the oven, then let the peons ingest, as is their wont. Presently I think they just shit onto pizza pans.

My former intention was to eschew this place in terms of blogitude, since, after all, this is a pizza blog. No motherfucker is going here for the pizza. People go here to get fat. If you question that, just go to Cici's and view the wildlife in their natural habitat. Whole families of fatties waddling and swaddling, rolling and folding into chairs and booths (preferably booths, let's be serious) to get that next overflowing plate polished off. It's as if they don't realize that this sideshow is not a race; the food is infinite. No kidding! It's both fun to watch and also overwhelmingly terrible.

That said, even for the pizza connoisseur  it becomes a matter of some competitiveness; despite my misgivings, I ate up a fucking storm.

As an aside: once, shortly after an impressive abdominal surgery, I forced approximately 4 Bdobo plates into myself. I think I busted at least one gut and countless stitches. That is to say, I am well-acquainted with the desire to kill yourself in order to "get your money's worth." Because if you're paying 7-8 dollars for shitty pizza and sugary fizz-water, you damn well better make sure you go away feeling as terrible and fat as the rest of the world already knows you are.

I hate to say it, but this fucking cheese pizza was not as bad as it ought to have been. The sauce was better than I've had at some places in town but was still too pasty, too overcooked, too overspiced and too prevalent. The cheese seemed alright. Doesn't make a damn bit of sense but I thought it was okay, so fuck off. The crust was better than any chain pizza and worse than any real pizzeria, so take that for what it's worth (not much).

The main reason I went here was because I had a B1G1 Free coupon and my girlfriend likes this kind of bullshit smorgasbord almost as much as she likes going to ritzy places downtown. But it still cost me almost ten ducklings. I'd rather go to PT's Grille, frankly. I love that place. Their menu is amazing, employees are awesome, beer is cheap, burgers are awesome, garlic fries are pure facerape.

Though, at the end of the day of pizza buffet, I was still able to destroy two scrommings for about eight dollars; coulda been worse. But it could have also been better, like if I had gone to Michaelangelos, because they also have a lunchtime buffet deal, which is better and maybe even cheaper.

Struggled a bit with this rating, to be sure. I'm settling on a 6. Better than anyone would have guessed, I'm sure. If you are wondering how this place ranks better than some of Wilmington's holier-than-though institutions, it's because you're a fucking twat.

News: Apparently Nino's is opening a location (I assume it's from the same folks in Wrightsboro but maybe not) at 5500 Market St. Odd location, in my opinion. The more you know.

Never gonna give you up.


6 recircs out of a possible 8 recircs (lower is better)

7-8 ducks at dinner with a drink (On a weekend I guess. Don't really know why they charged me so much)
341 S College Rd # 8A, Wilmington, NC 28403

CiCi's Pizza on Urbanspoon

Posted by pete

Comments (3) Trackbacks (0)
  1. WOW! I have been waiting for this review to happen here on this blog! My friend and I used to eat at a CiCi’s in Orlando Florida, my friend would eat a dick if it was in a hotdog bun and I believe CiCi’s is very close to being a dick in a bun. I remember being so hungover and being dragged to that rat hole. Gross as it was, it could be amusing if you like people watching. actual toothless patrons sucking the toppings off in a mighty gasp of obscene gluttony was well worth the explosive diarrhea that would follow.. Fuck im to drunk to write this crap on your shitty blog!


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