Wilmington Pizza Insulting the stretch of pavement and stripmalls you call home


Dr. Oetker Pizza Mozzarella

I don't know where this fucking "Dr. Oetker" got his degree but it wasn't Pizza University. First of all this pizza looks 7 kinds of retarded:

Once you cook it, it doesn't look as retarded but the weird pesto-like blobs become more apparent. I guess they're really just clumped-up minced basil but I thought it was stupid. I guess they do this instead of putting leaves on that might burn? I don't really know. It wasn't that bad.

As is often the case where some dumb motherfucker decides to be fancy and use classy mozzarella, shit backfires. Such is the case here where the good Doctor was trying to fancificate frozen pizza and failed miserably, because the cheese tasted of approximately nothing besides stupidity and week-old farts. Furthermore the crust was mediocre. It reminded me of Palermo's except worse. For the record I love the shit out of Palermo's Margherita pizza.

I don't have anything to say about the sauce. The tomatoes on top were really good.

As much shit as I've talked about this pizza, I actually enjoyed eating it, mainly because: I was drunk; I stole it and it was thusly free; and it kind of reminded me of Palermo's. I'd eat this again, should I be given another opportunity to discreetly steal a box.

For the record I stole it from my parents' house so I may be a thief but at least I'm also a loser.

Dr. Oetker is a shitbird.

Posted by pete

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  1. finally a remotely honest review. Let me elaborate though; the mozarella on this pizza is complete garbage. When cooked it’s so stiff you have to rip off the entire slice of mozarella (probably burning your mouth) because it’s one big sticky stiff blob of garbage. Don’t listen to the paid reviews, take my word for it and save yourself from a ridiculously garbage pizza.
    I have witnessed the same troublesome mozarella slice on several different brand pizza’s, all of them failing horribly. Stay away.

    I must say though, the tomatos taste pretty fresh.

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