Wilmington Pizza Insulting the stretch of pavement and stripmalls you call home


Hoobie’s NY Pizza & Hoagies

So, I again ventured to Hoobie's. This time on a Thursday, at like fucking 2 p.m. or something. Last time I went to Hoobie's it was on a Monday at around 3 p.m. On Mondays they allegedly open at 4 p.m. for reasons no sane person could ever come up with. Here are their alleged hours:

Fucking closed. I pray to Couch Boulder that this place is fucking closed for real, for good, forever and for the good of all mankind. They looked forever-closed inside; bullshit was strewn about. Messy bullshit idiotic crap. If that's simply how they leave the joint when they leave, they disgust me. I hate this fucking place. I hope you are closed and also dead, forever.

Come to think of it, the inside of Hoobie's looks a fair bit like the inside of Pizza Joe's off Independence which closed like a year ago after the owner's addict son derped out or something, went full crackhead and caused the place tank to hell, and justly so because it was fucking nauseating. That place is still stocked with random pizzeria shit just lying around, after maybe more than a year. Stupidest shit I've ever seen.

In other news, it looks like Rudinos off Military Cutoff is definitely closed and becoming a New Balance store or something. Vast improvement over that vapid shitbird pizza.

I love it when shitty pizzerias fail. I love the shit out of it.

Posted by pete

Comments (10) Trackbacks (0)
  1. I just don’t understand why you continually rag on Hoobie’s. There pizza is fantastic, I guess you don’t realize they are a very small operation with only a few employees running the place…that’s how you keep costs down and manage to stay in business in this horrible economy. I’m sure you also realize a lot of restaurants aren’t even open on Mondays, it is well known that Mondays are the slowest days of the week for any restaurant.

    Have you even tried there pizza yet? Im guessing no since you continually complain about their hours. Why not give them a shot before you wish for them to be “closed and dead” next time. By the way, NO Hoobie’s is not closed, I ordered from them just the other day.

    • I’m not even reading your entire comment. You don’t fucking understand why I rag on them? Fuck you, you stupid piece of shit and learn to read. Fuck you straight to hell you stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid piece of illiterate retarded shit.

    • Also, fuck you and your lady boner for this place. You work here or something? Maybe try going to work. Or if you’re going to puss out on life, put a fucking sign up and clean up the place so poor dumb motherfuckers like me that drive 10 miles out of their way don’t show up with the inclination to shit down the owner’s throat.

    • Oh by the way, fuck you.

    • Also by the way, Hoobies is closed because I fucking said so you retard.

    • I’m going to go to Hoobies again so I can defecate on their shitty (get it) pizza, take a picture and get that shit developed at motherfucking CVS and shove the print up your fucking dick receptacle. I’m talking about your ass.

      • Wow, can you possibly do anything other than cuss? I truly wish you knew how much credibility you lose with your vile language. I showed your blog to a few people who got a good laugh out of your incessant use of foul language. I can’t really blame you though, when you have nothing better to do than blog about pizza you must truly hate your life. I feel very sorry for you, since you do not have the ability to make your point without every other word out of your mouth being a swear word, and it is rather amusing how you feel the need to post 5 comments in a row in a vain attempt to insult me.

        By the way, no I do not work at Hoobie’s. I actually work at the hospital so I look forward to the day when you come in after suffering a heart attack…which will likely be sooner rather than later judging by your dietary habits, buddy. Enjoy your impending MI, Petey-boy :P

        • Why does it bother you so much that “swear” words are used? It is a part of the tone that “Petey-boy” sets. Also, you work at a hospital, and you look forward to the day someone comes in with a heart attack? I think such an ethical misstep is far more troublesome than the use of a “swear” word. Would you be proud to show your comment to the hospital administrator? Go read “Chicken Soup for the Soul” if “swear” words bother you so much, or get back to work and clean up that puddle of piss some demented geriatric left on the floor.

        • Yeah that does seem a bit over-the-top even for me upon a second read.

  2. Office Fan is correct – they have very few employees. But in Hoobie’s case, that’s not a good thing. I know a couple of kids who work at this god awful establishment, and they are some rancid, vile motherfuckers. Those incompetent sons of bitches wouldn’t know how to rub two sticks together, let alone make a decent pizza. They exude a murky haze made up of, as far as I can discern, marijuana, animal droppings, and werewolf corpses. I think those guys may be the only fucking employees in the joint. For that reason alone, you can assume that Hoobie’s is at least 50% wretched, disgusting shit.

    Make sure to wear a full fucking hazmat suit if you’re ever unlucky enough to enter this place.

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