Wilmington Pizza Insulting the stretch of pavement and stripmalls you call home

24Dec/1024

Princess Pizza

I don't even know what's going on right now

Check it out, I hate this place. Before I continue I'll preface this by saying that I've been drunk since late morning. It's sort-of-holiday-time though so I will request leniency. Back to this terrible pizzeria. When this place opened up 2 or 3 or 9000 years ago, my first thought was, "Sweet, another pizza place downtown." I punch myself in the dick every day for thinking that.

The first time i went to this terrible establishment, my hopes were high. And then I saw that it was a super shit-town assface cheaply-made replica of I<3NY. You walk in there and you even see the same black dude with mega dreads that used to work at I<3NY, thats how much of a replica it is. Except the Italian/New York motherfuckers are now Middle Eastern or something. It's like you took a spaceship to bizarro-town and wound up in Fuckyouville. You don't get what you pay for and you're completely lost and no one is even trying to help you.

I don't even feel like describing this pizza, I hate this shit. They're actually not that far from making a decent pizza, that's the shitty kicker right there. I guess I will describe it and hate myself for doing so, since that's the point of this blog. Here's a picture to start with:

hello

This is a terrible looking slice of pizza. I fucking hate to look at it and I hope you do too. First of all the top is burnt, there's no getting around that. In my worthless opinion, burnt cheese is turbo okay. Here, though, it can fuck right off. Also, usually, I love crust. But here the crust is huge. Like half the slice has no cheese and barely any sauce on it. I hate the person that made this pizza. These guys do no business and still lack the time to make a decent pizza. What's wrong with you guys? You suck.

The crust is stupid-thin at the front of this slice. Anyone that says that NY-style pizza can't be too thin can fuck right off. Conversely, the crust is overly-thick at the rear of the slice, and the whole fucking thing is underdone. Except the top, which is burnt. This is a slice of pizza where you know the jerkfish making it was just trying to fuck over everyone who might try it. This place should be called Sadist Pizza, I hate these guys and they can get lost. Every time I go here the pizza is shit. Who the fuck goes here besides me? Assholes, every one of them. Walk a block and spend eleven more cents at I<3NY.

By the way, the dude threw my slice into the oven for all of one minute before handing it to me on this plate. It was barely warm. I fucking hate you guys and I have no idea how you remain in business, sucking as hard as you do. Also, fuck your ice cream and pies and shit, you assholes.

All of my pity tips must be adding up at this place, sustaining it. I'm never going back, so they will soon perish. You're welcome.

Rating:

7 recircs out of a possible 8 recircs (lower is better)
Princess Pizza - $1.89
204 Princess Street  Wilmington, NC

Princess Pizza on Urbanspoon

Posted by pete

Comments (24) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Pete I must 100% agree with an I am not drunk at all I do not cuss either but this place an its manager the or whatever he wants to call himself with the lack of customer service is a joke.. this entire place is.. If you read my blog earlier today you will see how much of a joke.. God bless you Pete please stop giving these people your money!!!

  2. This is the best pizza in all Wilmington.

  3. Best pizza love the Philly steak

  4. I love this place. Go Steelers.

  5. unfortunately, the pizza here is pretty decent, but i witnessed a travesty when i was there and have never been back. a black woman and her child came in and wanted to use the bathroom and he told them it was for paying customers only, which is understandable, then she bought a bag of chips and started to head off to the bathroom and he yelled “that is not enough to use the bathroom!” she started crying and left, needless to say i was infuriated.

  6. Best pizza ever Pete is a liar and doesn’t pizza show shut up

  7. This Pete guy is a dum ass

    • Okay. But now you’re banned and have to look at my hilarious ban message whenever you come to this shitty site (which you seem to hate so that should be never)

  8. Dude what up with the hurtful language. Take it easy on everybody I bet you don’t even know how real pizza tastes because you’re probably just some poser who knows nothing about pizza. Good day sir

  9. It’s the worst pizza I’ve ever had in my life. Several times, friends have been kind enough to bring me pizza when I was working, and unfortunately they brought me this garbage. I would thank them, but always had to toss it in the trash where it belongs, and find real food from somewhere else


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