Wilmington Pizza Insulting the stretch of pavement and stripmalls you call home

5Mar/112

The Pepperoni Grill

What the fuck is this shit? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch


I took a picture of The Pepperoni Grill, but, uh, it didn't work out. Instead, I'm posting the picture displayed above. This is my golfing buddy semi-directly before we shared some pizza at The Pepperoni Grill. The reason I took this picture is because as I was parking the cart he started to flip out, telling me that our mode of transportation was on the verge of flipping over: he thought the cart pictured above was about to flip over. This guy had a near-death experience based on this supposed predicament.

Well, after that shitty round of golf we went to some wacko pizzeria in BSL. There were over 9000 employees in there giving me the ultimate staredown. I was super happy that instead of herb I'd only ingested like 42 beers and basically defeated the universe. Because, otherwise, that shit would have creeped me out. In any case, I  got some pizza for me and my wonderful chauffeur. What we received was a mixed bag of jangmotions, to be sure.

This is a pitifully small slice of pizza! What the hell! Doesn't look good besides, but jeez louise. What kind of terrible baby-pizza was this cut out of? Holy shit! I am, obviously, offended. I've been here once before and the pizza was totally legit, especially for some hole-in-the-wall place in BSL. So I figured this slice would be good. But then I got this and I was considering performing an infinite recircumcision on the spot. Don't judge a book by its cover though, shitdick.

It appears undercooked. It wasnt; the whole thing was pretty well cooked, especially the bottom which looked like it was cooked in a fucking wood-burning oven. I don't even understand it. The bottom of this pizza looked and tasted so god damn sexy that I had trouble containing myself. The top looks like shit. The sauce was okay. The cheese was above average, by far I think, but it was too lightly applied. That's a rarity around here; usually the problem is too much cheese.

This is one hell of a motherfucker to review. Sauce is okay; cheese is good but improperly applied; oven-job is both good and shit; slice is small. When it comes down to it, I still liked this slice. I wanted another, and that's a pretty important factor. Unlike other places that serve slices that leave a literal bad taste in your mouth, The Pepperoni Grill basically leaves you feeling ripped off and wishing to be ripped off again. The really weird part was that me and my friend both agreed initially that this shit didn't even have much taste, but by the end of it, it was pretty fucking tasty.

I think half of the slice had no cheese on it, but I still liked it. They don't really deserve the rating I'm about to give them, but I've been drinking Beast Ice since 8:30 a.m. so who gives a shit. A larger slice with more cheese and this pizza is near the top, maybe. Not today, though, motherfuckers.

Ha ha! America!

4 recircs out of a possible 8 recircs (lower is better)

The Pepperoni Grill - $2.16
3156-1 Hwy 87,  Boiling Spring Lakes, NC 28461

Pepperoni Grill on Urbanspoon

Posted by pete

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  1. Holy fucking shit. You created a blog for the sole purpose of mocking pizza places around Wilmington. The economy is shitty enough, yet you attack small businesses (for the most part). Your not an American, your a piece of shit. And you should an hero.

    Your a /b/tard aren’t you? Just trolling pizza places between faps to furry porn on 4chan.

    Please die from dick cancer.


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