Wilmington Pizza Insulting the stretch of pavement and stripmalls you call home

28Nov/142

Marco’s Pizza

Applejack Waffles

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I took this photo with a potato, deal with it. My inability to take a picture reflects my inability to rate this pizza. It's been so long since I have rated a goddamn pizza that I had to refer to my own Listing page to figure out where to put this monstrosity, rating-wise. Which got me thinking: wow. Wilmington pizza SUCKS. I know I've said that before but goddamn.

In any case I am giving Marco's Pizza a solid '5' on the recircumcision scale, only because they are better than Frank's. '5' seems to be that magical, nebulous zone that bad pizzerias fall into while they're clinging to the edge of pure desperation. A rating worse than '5' indicates that everyone at the establishment cut their dicks off long ago.

Speaking of the pizza, which I am loathe to do, it was shitty. The crust was tasteless, the cheese was probably some kind of mixture of cheeses and had decent flavor, but it was applied too heavily. It reminded me of Pizza Hut cheese, I think. I have no fucking idea if this pizza even had sauce because the pie had 18 pounds of cheese on it.

Speaking of Pizza Hut, this pizza is better than Pizza Hut (pan or otherwise). It is also better than Papa Johns (they're fucking terrible). Marco's is, however, worse than either Dominos or Little Caesar's. You shouldn't buy shit from any of these guys but I know you're going to, so that's what the deal is.

I also went to Brixx Wood Fired Pizza the other day. How do these kids get away with calling their ovens "Wood Fired" when it's clearly gas-fired? Can anyone explain this madness to me?

Shut up I don't care.

Rating:

5 recircs out of a possible 8 recircs (lower is better)

Marco's Pizza - $too much
2305 S College Rd, Wilmington, NC 28412
Marco's Pizza Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

Posted by pete

Comments (2) Trackbacks (0)
  1. I agree that it’s shitty compared to most pizza on earth but it is decent for a chain pizza. they’re better than domino’s and papa john’s but not pizza hut or little caesar’s.

  2. I like potato salad


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