Wilmington Pizza Insulting the stretch of pavement and stripmalls you call home


New Rules

Posted by pete

Welcome to the jungle, baby. In honor of this article, and my longstanding policy of producing "upsetting or offensive content from the perspective of users in your locale, even if the result satisfies the user intent," I hereby renounce Google advertisements. It probably didn't help that they perpetually skew data to trample content creators. (I still cherish my Pixel).


In other news, new review has been written, will be up soon. Also started working on an Android app for my thankless Kickstarter backers since making a good e-book is so much more difficult than I ever suspected.

Further news: my cat killed his first mouse last night and today he has been acting very tough and started shaking me down for treats :(

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Posted by pete

Finally put the site back up but it's a little fucked up and I guess I lost some pictures.

Maybe I'll fix it some more.

In other news I ate a Totinos pizza today!

update: infrequent and haphazard backups win again, chumps!



Posted by pete


They're not wrong!

I feel complete.

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Very unimportant update

Posted by pete

Instead of finishing the e-book I promised my Kickstarter contributers I randomly built a website featuring local drink and food specials.

It is located right here: sloshr.com

My great, crippled, decrepit empire now consists of:




In my estimation, these sites combined are worth more than a shitty Java game called Minecraft so I am looking for north of 2.5 billion in the event of a buyout.




Pizza Hut Pan Pizza

Posted by pete

This is gonna be a short post. I just want to let you know that Pizza Hut Pan Pizza SUCKS! I know, I'm a pizza snob so of course I think that Pizza Hut sucks. But at some point in the past 20 years Pizza Hut's pan-style offering has gone to complete shit. Hell, even Domino's pan crap is far superior to Pizza Hut, which is a ludicrous bunch of shit if you ask me.


Clearly not pan-formed. No awesome to-the-edge-cheese burnt crustiness. Nothing good in this world, God hates you and he always has, deal with it, Pizza Hut sucks. Toppings seemed liberally applied though and the jalapenos were classically awesome (always my favorite PH topping even as a small child).

The first time I ate Domino's was on a trip to Jersey as a child. We went to a mall specifically to get Domino's because it was my dad's friend's favorite pizza. Me and my brother pretended to eat it but spit it into napkins on the sly. On the other hand, we used to occasionally take trips to Pizza Hut and man I loved their pan pizza. On the off chance that my basketball team won a game, my dad would take us all out to Pizza Hut and I would get a personal pan pizza with jalapenos. If we lost, we were all summarily beaten with a gilded belt.

Nowadays, Pizza Hut pan pizza resembles Dominos regular pizza of yore and Domino's pan pizza fairly closely resembles old school Pizza Hut pan pizza. It doesn't make sense, my childhood is a lie and check this out: FUCK YOU, PIZZA HUT!

p.s. I should mention that my memories might be in relation to the personal pan pizzas, which might still be awesome to this day. I really have no idea. I just wanted to write a post about pizza, my girlfriend bought this recently, and it sucked a lot.

p.p.s. The breadsticks are still awesome in their old-school pizza-hutty way. Or at least that's how it seems to this old bird.

Pizza Hut on Urbanspoon


A newsy bit of buttfuckery

Posted by pete

Say gang, what say you do my work for me: Is Lucianos now called Amore on Market? I'm too lazy to drive over there right now. Likewise, is Wrightsboro Nino's now called Amore Pizza and Pasta? If so, I'm confused as shit. Why is Nino's always involved in some kind of name clusterfuck? Are these places, in anything besides name, new? Did the respective owners both just happen to start taking remedial Italian at the same time and learned the world 'amore' and figured 'Yeah, see, the problem with my business is definitely the name, see, and amore means love, see, they'll love us after this idea rivoluzionaria'? Maybe they're both owned by the same people now and no one taught the owner the concept of branding. The world may never know because I don't care enough to definitively find out.

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