Wilmington Pizza Insulting the stretch of pavement and stripmalls you call home

26Oct/162

PSA – I <3 NY

Posted by pete

 

I'm obliged to mention that I had a slice of I <3 NY pizza and it was the biggest shitty trashtrain fuckall outside of New Jersey.

The dough is different, the sauce is different and the cheese is the biggest shit fuck trash heap you have ever seen. These fuckers. I trusted you.

On the other hand, Brooklyn is still cranking out pure quality, non-stop, so there's that at least.

If you are hurting for context, i<3ny is listed second in Wilmington, and it was a hairline decision to give it to Brooklyn. So sad. Hoobies quality garbage slice.

ANOTHER HEADS UP THESE GREASY CHEESE FUCKS ARE CHARGING YOU 25% MORE FOR 100% WORSE SHIT NOW.

Listing

Filed under: Bullshit 2 Comments
8Jun/160

HALLO

Posted by pete

Finally put the site back up but it's a little fucked up and I guess I lost some pictures.

Maybe I'll fix it some more.

In other news I ate a Totinos pizza today!

update: infrequent and haphazard backups win again, chumps!

7Sep/151

Blocked!

Posted by pete

Screenshot_2015-09-05-09-28-52

They're not wrong!

I feel complete.

Filed under: Bullshit 1 Comment
19Sep/140

Very unimportant update

Posted by pete

Instead of finishing the e-book I promised my Kickstarter contributers I randomly built a website featuring local drink and food specials.

It is located right here: sloshr.com

My great, crippled, decrepit empire now consists of:

ilmza.com

liquorlunch.com

sloshr.com

In my estimation, these sites combined are worth more than a shitty Java game called Minecraft so I am looking for north of 2.5 billion in the event of a buyout.

Thanks,

Pete

6Jan/144

Pizza Hut Pan Pizza

Posted by pete

This is gonna be a short post. I just want to let you know that Pizza Hut Pan Pizza SUCKS! I know, I'm a pizza snob so of course I think that Pizza Hut sucks. But at some point in the past 20 years Pizza Hut's pan-style offering has gone to complete shit. Hell, even Domino's pan crap is far superior to Pizza Hut, which is a ludicrous bunch of shit if you ask me.

2013-12-22_15-46-34_248

Clearly not pan-formed. No awesome to-the-edge-cheese burnt crustiness. Nothing good in this world, God hates you and he always has, deal with it, Pizza Hut sucks. Toppings seemed liberally applied though and the jalapenos were classically awesome (always my favorite PH topping even as a small child).

The first time I ate Domino's was on a trip to Jersey as a child. We went to a mall specifically to get Domino's because it was my dad's friend's favorite pizza. Me and my brother pretended to eat it but spit it into napkins on the sly. On the other hand, we used to occasionally take trips to Pizza Hut and man I loved their pan pizza. On the off chance that my basketball team won a game, my dad would take us all out to Pizza Hut and I would get a personal pan pizza with jalapenos. If we lost, we were all summarily beaten with a gilded belt.

Nowadays, Pizza Hut pan pizza resembles Dominos regular pizza of yore and Domino's pan pizza fairly closely resembles old school Pizza Hut pan pizza. It doesn't make sense, my childhood is a lie and check this out: FUCK YOU, PIZZA HUT!

p.s. I should mention that my memories might be in relation to the personal pan pizzas, which might still be awesome to this day. I really have no idea. I just wanted to write a post about pizza, my girlfriend bought this recently, and it sucked a lot.

p.p.s. The breadsticks are still awesome in their old-school pizza-hutty way. Or at least that's how it seems to this old bird.

Pizza Hut on Urbanspoon

29Dec/125

A newsy bit of buttfuckery

Posted by pete

Say gang, what say you do my work for me: Is Lucianos now called Amore on Market? I'm too lazy to drive over there right now. Likewise, is Wrightsboro Nino's now called Amore Pizza and Pasta? If so, I'm confused as shit. Why is Nino's always involved in some kind of name clusterfuck? Are these places, in anything besides name, new? Did the respective owners both just happen to start taking remedial Italian at the same time and learned the world 'amore' and figured 'Yeah, see, the problem with my business is definitely the name, see, and amore means love, see, they'll love us after this idea rivoluzionaria'? Maybe they're both owned by the same people now and no one taught the owner the concept of branding. The world may never know because I don't care enough to definitively find out.

Filed under: Bullshit 5 Comments